Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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