Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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