She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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