Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
