Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
