I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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