I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
