Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
