I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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