Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
two words: eviction party
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
