I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
