I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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