He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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