She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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