There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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