dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
