you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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