Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
