Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The adults are the big ones right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
