he shaved USA in his pubs
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
