Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize