And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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