I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize