I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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