sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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