I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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