Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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