Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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