Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
