Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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