maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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