Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
