so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
