My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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