I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
