My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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