Already got asked if we're dating
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
