So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
