Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
