he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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