gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
