Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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