What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
