There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
