I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize