Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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