i can't believe i had my finger in that
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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