found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
