so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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