We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
