break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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