What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
