there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
