I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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