wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is wine microwaveable?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
