and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
