Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
